A guide to my swears.

I’m fairly conservative for a 24-year-old living in a Western society. Actually, no I’m not, but when it comes to swearing I’m a prude. This becomes most apparent around my partner, who used to be in the army and swears like a…trooper…

He is now starting to control his swears and I am trying to loosen up a little, but I still cringe when I hear excessive cursing on the street. I feel that swearing is one of the lowest forms of communication. If you can only communicate with one word syllables to express your anger, dismay, joy, sadness, grief, confusion and various other emotions, then you aren’t very disciplined a person.

The occasional swear is perfectly acceptable, especially if you’ve just hit your toe on the coffee table. But littering it throughout every sentence is a bit much. Please spare my poor ears!

I have recently come up with a list that I am much more satisfied with and would be incredibly happy if I were to hear dropped in the street. If any of these resonate with you, please use them. They will convey your meaning much more effectively then the ‘customary’ swear words.

Fu…nnel-web spider


C…onstable Larry

Cr…ap – I’m not that much of a prude.


Okay, they’re no good. But whenever I feel the need to swear on my blog, these will be seen in place of the usual swear words. Don’t expect to see them very often.

2 thoughts on “A guide to my swears.

  1. I must say that I disagree. I use swear words frequently enough and grow annoyed when someone tries to lecture me about it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t walk down the street dropping F-bombs for the world to hear and I censor myself when it is appropriate. My swearing is more casual than anything else.

    When you get right down to it, a swear word is just like any other word. Swearing has been demonized by society for one silly reason or another and I will always consider it silly. The “severity” of a word is based off of perception and nothing more. I have a friend who, for most of her life her mother would punish her for using the word ‘stupid’ (even if she was not calling someone else stupid).

    Stupid is hardly a swear word but you would not know that if you saw her mother’s reaction to the word.

    It also bothers me when I hear people say a person only swears because they have a limited vocabulary. Swear words are just like any other word in the dictionary. When a person purposely tries using a swear word for no other reason than ‘shock value’ or just to use it then that is the same as someone using a word to which they do not fully understand the definition (and probably only recently learned the word) for the sole purpose of sounding smarter than they are.

    So swearing is just like the word serendipitous. If you meant lucky then just say lucky. When a person tries adding words to their common diction that is not a part of their regular vocabulary then they come across as fake and in my humble opinion, I’d rather be real and vulgar than fake and clean.

    Of course, you’re not really calling anybody who swears stupid or anything like that. I can see that you are simply stating your dislike for swearing and that’s fine. But I will always stand by the idea that offense lies with the offended and not with the “offender” (unless said offender was purposely trying to make offense, of course).

    But the main reason why I am leaving this comment is to suggest a movie that you might like. It’s called The Man with Samuel L. Jackson and Eugene Levy. Swearing is something of a big thing between the two characters and if you’ve not seen it, it is definitely good for a few laughs. I think you’l enjoy it.

    Keep writing!

    P.S. Much like with my friend and the word stupid, I was forbidden by my father to use the word crap. He didn’t like it because he considered it an “ugly word” though he uses it excessively (and many, many others) in his old age.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Excellent! Thank you for disagreeing. It’s good to hear someone else’s opinion. I have to make myself a bit more clear. It’s when people don’t censor themselves and are overly liberal with swear words that gets me. I also hate Constable Larry with a passion. It’s just a horrible sounding word and can only be said well by Peter Dinklage. Just.

      You know, come to think of it, it may not be perception for me but the harshness of the words. I get a similar cringe when people say ‘moist’. I have no issue with softer sounding words like ‘bugger’, ‘bollocks’ or ‘crap’.

      Ha, my mum used to get very angry if any of us said ‘screwed’. ‘Butt’ was another of her hated words.

      I definitely wasn’t saying people who swear have a limited vocabulary, it’s those that use it excessively to convey every emotion. Like you said, those that use it for shock value. Generally the teenagers or people who are trying to impress with how much they can swear. I believe it to be a low form of communication, but I don’t think people who do swear constantly are stupid or any less than me. They just aren’t the same as me, which is cool. As long as they can censor themselves when required.

      Also depends on the way the swear word is said. For instance, my partner really had to tune it down, because he would say swear words so aggressively that it scared me. Part of aggression training in the army apparently, but it can be very intimidating when people like that start swearing.

      I don’t ever lecture anyone about their swearing (except the partner – only when he accidently does it in front of a child), because they can speak however they want. I won’t stop watching a show because of the amount of swear words or stop talking to someone just because they’re swearing, but it may make me uncomfortable, depending on how much they’re dropping the f-bomb. Especially if I just met them.

      I’ll have a watch 🙂 I haven’t seen it yet.

      Like I said, thanks for sharing your opinion. I like to be open minded about these sorts of things.


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