Good news everyone!

goodnewsI have been given my first writing job!  It may only be for a day and may have possibly been given to me by my very own mother, but darn tootin’, it’s paid!

I should also point out that it is environmentally focused and legitimate work through her organisation, so that’s something for the resume.

Huzzah for writing!

Conversations you have as a wildlife rescuer

Random Citizen
Wildlife Rescuer

‘Oh I’m so happy it’s not a snake.  He’s actually quite cute when you see him up close.’
‘I’m glad you like him.  I’ll just put him back in his home.’
‘Wait, what?  I want it gone from my garden.’
‘I can’t take him from his home unless he is injured.’
‘Well, could you at least put it in the neighbour’s garden?’

‘So, how much do you get paid for this?’
‘I’m a volunteer, I don’t get paid for it.’
‘Why the hell do you do it then?’

‘If you could just go on the roof and block up the chimney, that would be nice.’
‘I’m not comfortable with doing that.  My insurance doesn’t cover that if I fall.’
‘How am I supposed to stop possums getting into my roof then?  Aren’t you supposed to help me?’
‘I’m helping the possum not you.  Call your husband.’

‘Oh look a kangaroo!  HEY KIDS LOOK AT THE KANGAROO!’
‘Ma’am, if you could just lower your voice and stop your kids from…too late.’
‘Oh for the love of all that is holy, Gerald!  Gerald, why oh why did this happen to you?  That awful kangaroo should be shot.’

‘I won’t let you shoot it!  We’ll take it to the vet, it’ll be fine.’
‘The kangaroo has two broken legs, a broken spine and is bleeding out of its ears.  Vets aren’t wizards.’
‘How would you know?  You’re just trigger happy!’

‘I wrapped up the poor possum, he’s much happier now.’
‘Yeah…that’s a rat.’