Last weekend I had a few friends over for a barbeque. They arrive, a couple handing over some food, then another walked in holding flowers. She had a guilty smile on her face and said, ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t get you food. I got flowers instead.’
I was delighted. It’s not often I get flowers and it’s amazing how a little bright yellow lightens up my house. Nevertheless, all throughout the day she kept apologising and promising to bring food next time, obviously feeling bad for bringing flowers.
This got me thinking, after they had left, why on earth would she apologise? Why on earth would anyone apologise if they do something slightly out of the norm? I was happy to get flowers, and it’s nice to see them on my coffee table every morning.
So, what’s with all the guilt? Everyone needs to stop worrying so much that they have done something wrong, and start thinking that maybe what they’ve done is a pleasant surprise, helped out or made a difference.
I had my unnecessary guilty sensations last week, when I emailed a fellow blogger when he was going through some troubles. I thought the whole time that I was intruding on his life, that I was making things worse and my sudden appearance in his emails would weird him out. It didn’t (I hope), but it wasn’t until my friend brought flowers that I got over that slight guilty feeling. I realised that it wasn’t a necessary feeling. I had gone about things a different way, and it may have helped. If it didn’t, well I tried.
Plus the flowers look really nice. No one can feel guilty in their presence.