A guide to my swears.

I’m fairly conservative for a 24-year-old living in a Western society. Actually, no I’m not, but when it comes to swearing I’m a prude. This becomes most apparent around my partner, who used to be in the army and swears like a…trooper…

He is now starting to control his swears and I am trying to loosen up a little, but I still cringe when I hear excessive cursing on the street. I feel that swearing is one of the lowest forms of communication. If you can only communicate with one word syllables to express your anger, dismay, joy, sadness, grief, confusion and various other emotions, then you aren’t very disciplined a person.

The occasional swear is perfectly acceptable, especially if you’ve just hit your toe on the coffee table. But littering it throughout every sentence is a bit much. Please spare my poor ears!

I have recently come up with a list that I am much more satisfied with and would be incredibly happy if I were to hear dropped in the street. If any of these resonate with you, please use them. They will convey your meaning much more effectively then the ‘customary’ swear words.

Fu…nnel-web spider


C…onstable Larry

Cr…ap – I’m not that much of a prude.


Okay, they’re no good. But whenever I feel the need to swear on my blog, these will be seen in place of the usual swear words. Don’t expect to see them very often.