The questionable 50,000 words

I posted last month about the semi-writing block that seems to occur at 20,000 words and I have reached a new dilemma now that I have written 50,000 words of my novel. I have now reached the point in my writing where I am questioning every word that I put down.

This is entirely my own fault, of course.  I couldn’t be bothered writing too much last night so I decided to read through the first chapter, just out of interest.  Just out of interest.  Who was I kidding?  I did the stupidest thing I could have done at this point in the story.  I should have just contented myself with reading a book.  But no, I had to read some of my own writing.

It has awakened my inner editor.  I was reading through the chapter and screwing my nose up at almost every sentence, my fingers itching to change the whole thing.  At least I wasn’t that stupid.  I managed to throw myself from the computer and have since occupied myself with things that have nothing to do with writing on yet another beautiful day in Melbourne.

Until an hour ago, when I decided it was time to knuckle down and pump out the words.  I managed 1500 words, but it was at a cost.  Every piece of dialogue I wrote, every description, every action, I was comparing to the first chapter.  I was trying for consistency when that shouldn’t even be entering in my mind at this point.  I should be just letting the story flow out of me, not double checking what the name of that town was that I mentioned 45,000 words back so I don’t accidently get it wrong.  God forbid that I have to read an incorrect town name in my first edit.

I’m also now questioning whether the story is really any good anyway, and why should anyone read this if it horrified me to read it.  Silly Kate, you should know that you think everything you write is awful.

The confidence has taken a shot as I step over the halfway mark and even though it’s all downhill from here, I think I may be wearing stilettos while doing it.  Tottering down, anxious not to fall and smash my face into the pavement.  Taking a few side steps to recover my footing and taking triple the time to get down that damn hill.  This is why men wear sneakers out on the town.

I’m now going to take a day to separate myself from what I read of the first chapter and hopefully I can steal some sneakers to get down the hill.

Moral of the story is this: Don’t reread your manuscript until you’re ready to edit.

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Liebster Award!

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A huge shout to Aether House for my nomination for the Liebster Award! Asked some interesting questions that were fun to answer. If you haven’t checked out her blog, get on it. It’s a good read. Herein lies the answers to Aether House’s questions:

1. Do you have, or have you had, a medical condition that altered your way of life?
How did you know? In April of this year I had an incident at my workplace that left me with PTSD. Fun times. After several months of doctor visits I have completely changed my outlook on life. I focus on the positive, let go of the negative and live in the now. Although, men in hoodies and my old workplace are not nice things to encounter these days.

2. How would you describe your dream home?
I would absolutely love a cottage-style house in a rainforest type environment. So much serenity. That, or Downton Abbey. Because Downton Abbey is amazing.

3. What is your favorite hobby? Why?
The obvious is writing, so I’ll put down my second favourite. Wait, that’s reading. Okay, third favourite is archery. Shooting bulls eyes is oddly satisfying…

4. What piece of clothing can you not live without?
My dressing gown, because I’m a grandma.

5. How do you feel about marriage and having kids?
It’ll happen one day, I’m sure, but for now my partner and I are fairly happy just winging it. Also, I don’t want more than two kids. Overpopulation is a crisis you know!

6. What book-to-movie adaptation are you’re dying for Hollywood to make? I’m talking about books that haven’t yet been made into movies, of course (so no Mockingjay!).
I would really like to see Sabriel by Garth Nix made into a movie. It’s not my favourite book, but the way it’s written makes it seem perfect for a movie adaptation. Probably not going to happen though.

7. Do you live in the moment or do you plan for the future?
Definitely living in the moment at my present stage. I used to think about my future too much, and it stressed me out. As my sister says, ‘Your problem is you think too much.’

8. Favorite class in college? (or high school, if you didn’t go/haven’t yet gone to college)?
I would have to say Faunal Studies. We got to go on a camp and do research on the various animals, plants and soils there. Sound boring? We got to play with these little guys:

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Most amazing experience in my studying life. Marine Biology was also fun. Got to swim with dolphins and seals. Actually most of my classes were great.

9. Best and worst part of attending weddings?
Best part is going to beautiful locations, seeing beautiful dresses and watching how happy the bride and groom are. Worst part? I always get the steak. I don’t eat red meat.

10. Tell me about an awkward or embarrassing moment you’ve had.
Ha! Oh the tales I could tell. Let’s just go with one of the worst. I had started seeing a guy and somehow got introduced the parents. We were just chatting and then I called the guy by the wrong name. Needless to say I left fairly quickly after that. The worst part was I couldn’t remember his name after I said the wrong one. Super awkward!

My Nominees:
William Lloyd, Shawn Colletti, Mindy Ogg, V.C. Willow, Erin Latimer, Jennifer Chen, Let Ink Flow, Jubilee J, Keepitupmykiddies and Stephanie Louise Smith
If you haven’t seen the above blogs, they are all interesting reads and I encourage you to look through them all 

The rules?
1) Post the Liebster Award graphic on your site.
2) Thank the blogger who nominated your blog.
3) Answer the 10 questions from the post of the person who nominated them.
4) The nominee will nominate 10 other blogs who have less than 200 followers.
5) The nominee will then create 10 questions of their own for their nominated bloggers to answer in their Liebster post!

My Questions:
1. What’s the most amazing experience of your life?
2. Quick! What’s the first thing that’s popping into your head right now?
3. Favourite genre of books?
4. If you could wish for one thing and it became true, what it would be? …YOU CAN’T WISH FOR EXTRA WISHES!!
5. What’s your favourite animal?
6. Have you ever wanted to run away from everything? If so, where would you go?
7. What mythical creature would you like to exist?
8. Red pill or blue pill?
9. What is your dream job?
10. How does it feel being awesome?

I would love to see you guys get in on the fun! It was great answering Aether House’s questions. Cheerio!