I would be lost without my smartphone.


Apparently I now live in Tshimbungu, according to my weather app. Now, neither I or spellcheck know where this place is. So I decided to look up a few facts about Tshimbungu, as one aught to know where they are located on a map.

Here follows ten facts about Tshimbungu, the place of many unknowns.

1. It’s located within the Democratic Republic of Congo, so it’s nice to know I’m hundreds of kilometres closer to the Ebola virus.

2. That’s it.

Well, that was fast. I could give you latitude, longitude, sea elevation and weather, but that’s no fun.

Seriously, 39,200 results and I can’t find anything interesting? You have failed me for the first and last time Google. I am embarrassed for you. You have brought shame on your family. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.

There, that showed Google. Now can I go back to my home in Australia. I don’t know where the closest airport to Tshimbungu is though…Dammit Google!