What I would think of America if I only watched television shows

I’ve never been to America. All I know about it is from popular culture, my own research, the media and talking to actual¬†Americans. But what if I cancelled out the majority of my understanding of America and based my entire knowledge on television shows? Why, this happens.

A stress filled day where nothing ever goes right. The typical American cannot find a turkey to roast and fights abound.

The solution is always pie.

The solution is always pie.

There’s something about Native Indians being suppressed, made slaves, generally looked down upon? But this is outweighed by the average American’s need to make everything perfect. In the end, everyone is sitting down for dinner and all is resolved. Thanksgiving is a time for turkey.

Nothing like a dead bird to bring people closer together.

Nothing like a dead bird to bring people closer together.

Female Americans
Hello! I should be moving to America. All the women are smoking AND ridiculously skilled at whatever vocation they lay their hands on. Wait, that woman looks a bit plastic. And that one… I think America is full of robots. Evil, soul-sucking robots. Men, beware of the Fembots!

But they're so attractive...

But they’re so attractive…

Fat men get all the ladies
On that note, it seems that the Fembots are attracted to men far below their standard. Not only are the men unattractive, but they don’t pay any attention to their Fembots, do none of the housework and spend all the money.

This makes no sense.

This makes no sense.

These types of men may have some type of magnetic field that attracts the Fembots and have actually been put in place by the FBI in order to stop the robots from taking over.

Plot twist!

Plot twist!

Incredibly unjust class system
I feel sorry for the workers of America. It seems like all they ever do is solve crimes, hand down justice or commit criminal acts all for money that is going to the non-workers that populate America.

'What are you doing?' 'I'm paying for Penny's apartment.'

‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m paying for Penny’s apartment.’

Sure, these non-workers occasionally visit some workplace under the pretence that they are earning a living, but it’s really just a cover so that the workers don’t revolt.

'...and then I got some schmuck in CSI to pay all my bills.'

‘…and then I got some schmuck in CSI to pay all my bills.’

If I were a worker in America I would be standing up for my right to at least go home and visit my family. Perhaps a food break would be nice…

The groups of four
It would be incredibly eerie walking down the streets in America. Everyone is clustered in groups of four and are afraid to break out of that tight circle.seinfeld

What happens when one person alone walks down the street? Do they get ravaged by a group of four, eaten and become sustenance for the group?

In this case, they only eat men.

In this case, they only eat men.

I’m afraid that if I ever travel there I need to bring three other people as back up. They aren’t groups. They are gangs intimidating the lesser grouped out there. And a change is occurring. They are adding to their groups. They are expanding. Soon they will be hanging out in groups of over a hundred.

It begins...

It begins…

There are monsters everywhere
Screw going to America. You think Australia is jam packed full of deadly things? Take a look at your own country:

It's always smart to drive a Hyundai in America

It’s always smart to drive a Hyundai in America



Double nope.

Double nope.

Just for the lols.

Just for the lols.

Look forward to my post about what I know about America if I only listened to the media. Actually…let’s skip that little can of worms.

He did WHAT?!

By Hina Ichigo

Picture taken by Hina Ichigo

Note: Spoilers for the television version of Game of Thrones

The Game of Thrones television show has done amazingly well over the last few years. There are two types of people in the world: those who obsess over the show, and those that haven’t seen it yet. Well, in my experience anyway. This is interesting considering the deplorable characters, the constant shade of gloom and the terrible acts of violence scattered throughout the series (‘You raped her! You murdered her! You killed her children!’).

What fascinates me is that people have fallen in love with this show despite the fact that if it were to actually happen in real life, everyone – besides the truly sick – would turn away in disgust. So, what’s the difference? Is it because it’s happening to made-up characters, or in a fantasy universe that people can disengage from? Would we still root for Arya, even after all the people she has killed, no matter the reason, if she were a real child? No. We would want to find her a foster family as soon as possible and some strong drugs.

My mum refuses to watch it. She hates violence of any kind, feels most sex scenes are unnecessary and swearing is the language of the Devil. Not a good show for her to watch. She argues that even an excellent storyline does not make up for the gruesome and sexually deviant scenes throughout the show. Fair point. HBO does like to go over the top with their adult content. Not that the books are any more kid friendly.

So what fascinates us? I believe it’s the characters themselves. They do things we would never dream of doing, for motivations that seem reasonable to them. All Cersei does, she does for her children (in the television show anyway – for now). But she commits crimes that no person can justify, no matter her “unselfish” motivations. She loves her children and we can identify with that. We can imagine the pain she feels when Myrcella is sent away to her perceived enemies, the agony as she watched her eldest son die. This empathy allows us to understand characters that we would despise in real life. I don’t know about you, but any person that insists on putting Lady to death also deserves to die.

These characters with varying shades of grey pull us in and keep us guessing about their next move. I believe that’s why people enjoy the show so much. The characters are so three-dimensional and unpredictable, people can’t help but watch how they play off against one another. Relationships are formed – such as Arya and the Hound – that we can’t help but watch, waiting to see whether Arya will keep him on the list, or make him an ally.

The intricate ways these characters interact with each other create the story, an intensely complex tapestry that viewers want – no, need – to unravel. Who will sit on the Iron Throne at the end? It’s anyone’s guess.

In this one instance, I think the story definitely outweighs the outrageous violence, unnecessary sex scenes and curses every few sentences of dialogue. Why? Because it’s amazing.

Bargain Hunt

So I took a quick break from writing to have some dinner and watch the most amazing show on Australian television – Bargain Hunt. No, I’m not a granny, but I love this show. It’s one that I will not miss, perhaps because I have a penchant for antiques, British shows and bowties.

If you’ve never seen this show, then take a minute to watch it. You’ll probably hate it. I don’t care. It’s amazing and nothing you can say will make me change my mind.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some novel to write.

Cheerio, chaps!