I faced a conundrum creating this blog, and that was what my name should be. Not whether I should put my real last name down because that was never going to happen. But whether I should use my pen name or create some alternate name such as Princess Penelocorn.
In the end I decided to use my pen name even if one day when I hit that elusive million dollar idea (ha) it comes back to haunt me. I think the main problem is that I’m afraid of putting myself out there. By putting my pen name down, I have become the writer. And that’s scary.
It’s much easier to see it as a hobby, a nice thing to distract myself from the chores. There’s no one standing over you saying, ‘What the hell was that? Do you even grammar?’ or ‘Wow that super sucks, maybe you should just go back to playing Minesweeper.’
Even scarier would be: ‘You might have something there. Perhaps you should do something with it?’
I’m suffering what every aspiring writer must experience. Low confidence. And that’s why I decided to use my pen name, because damn it! I’m a writer and even if it turns out I’m not very good at it, at least I tried. It’s better to be a failure in real life then a success in a dream.
My pen name wasn’t hard to come up with really. I struggle more with the names of my characters, looking up on baby sites for deep meanings relating to their personalities or place in the world. A simple amalgamation of my middle name and my mum’s maiden name was all it took.
A simple name, and I was worried about putting it out there.
Grow up, Kate!